Do You Really Feel Your Feelings?

Some of us have really great antennae for other people’s emotions.

We learned from a young age how to attune to and manage others’ emotions. 

Some of us rarely had anyone do that for us, though. In fact, our emotions were often dismissed, minimized, or shut down. Our emotions were often made out to be unimportant, overwhelming, shameful, or unsafe. 

Some of us have almost an academic knowledge of emotions. 

We got really good at identifying what feelings make sense in a given situation. 

So if you ask us how we feel, we know the right answer. Cognitively, it makes sense. 

In other words, we can talk about feelings all day long, but we do not feel them.

We don’t recognize them in our bodies.
We disconnect from the true depth of our discomfort.
We miss out on the enormity of our joy.
We dissociate through words and ideas and problem-solving.
We assume we can logic our way out of our feelings.
Our relationships are less intimate than we’d like.

Does any of this sound like you? It can be hard to notice this in yourself, especially if this is what you’re used to. You might even get a lot of positive reinforcement for how level-headed, intelligent, and helpful you are. Why would you want to give that up!

You don’t have to. But there is something really meaningful about being able to connect with yourself more deeply. 

It can be really powerful to embody your experiences in a way that allows you to meet yourself where you are and validate what you’re going through. 

It can be really grounding about being able to face your feelings with compassion, rather than fear, and then guide yourself back to a place of peace. 

And bringing this level of emotional awareness to your relationships allows for such profound closeness.

It’s a challenging path at times, but it’s incredibly rewarding. 

And it’s what you deserve.