If you’ve decided to go to therapy, undoubtedly you have a goal in mind. Maybe you’d like to improve your relationships or be more motivated. Maybe you’d like to find a new job or go back to school. Therapy is supposed to help you gain clarity on what’s blocking you, so you can accomplish your identified goals and move forward with your life.
Typical blocks to your goals might include:
- Beliefs about yourself, others, or the world that impact your ability to feel confident in your choices.
- Difficulty managing distressing emotions, which leads you to get overwhelmed and shut down or have an outburst.
- Mental health concerns like depression or anxiety.
- Undiagnosed neurodivergence.
Oftentimes, identifying these blocks allows you to feel compassion for your struggles and to create solutions for how to overcome them.
Sometimes, though, those blocks feel embedded in your identity or personality. You might be so accustomed to them, you don't want to make any changes.
That’s usually not a conscious thought, but with some digging, you might discover that you’re finding subtle ways to maintain the very obstacles you want to rid yourself of, ultimately sabotaging your efforts to grow.
Once you discover that, you realize that the work you want to do may take longer than anticipated. More than that, it might be more uncomfortable and challenging than you hoped. You might even need additional forms of therapy to address what you've uncovered.
Some common, unexpected turns in therapy that would require additional work on your part include:
- In couples therapy with your partner, you uncover personal issues that impact your relationship.
- You might need to explore your family of origin experiences to better understand your behavior patterns.
- You may need to address past traumatic experiences to heal and unlock growth.
When you and your therapist identify these deeper issues, you’re faced with a crossroads.
Will you continue on your current path?
Or will you do the therapy you need, so you can do the therapy you want?
Ultimately, it’s your choice. You get to decide if you’re ready and able to explore those deeper issues. You have the autonomy to say “not yet” or even “not ever” if that’s what feels right to you.
But what will that mean for your goals? Will you achieve the progress you desire? Perhaps. It might be slower or it might have to look different than you hoped. And that’s all ok. But imagine how far you could go, if you opened yourself up to greater self-awareness? The changes you make could be more sustainable and your healing more profound, because you took the time and energy to explore the roots of your suffering.